Where in Washington, D.C. is Reverend Moon?: An embarrassing day for the legislative branch

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4/08/2004

An embarrassing day for the legislative branch

Don't say I didn't warn you. Today, conservative publisher Sun Myung Moon has claimed the following, about the event (which actually took place at the Dirksen Senate Office Building) that the Washington Post considered less interesting and newsworthy than Tim Russert on a game show.

On March 23rd the Coronation was successfully completed with Senators and Congressmen in attendance. Therefore we should rent a space somewhere on Capitol Hill and even at the UN and proclaim this coronation before humanity.

What kind of ex-felon is "coronated" by elected officials? (Here's the guest list.) The kind of someone who just unveiled an ambitious new plan to promote heterosexuality through nudity:

By all couples sleeping naked together will get rid of all homosexuality. In the night everything will be unified into one. It is very simple that husband and wife naturally become one. What is that between men and men. What is that relationship about. You must know how to stimulate the woman correctly. Because we don't love correctly between husband and wife - homosexuality is the result. This is lower than animals. [...] If three families do this in every village we can get rid of all homosexuality.

Nude kids, too:

So far your children have been hiding sexual parts. They don't need to. Brothers can see brothers without shame.

And the emperor has some advice on "staying in the game":

Men's and women's sexual organs are not their own but they belong to their spouses. This brings harmony of heaven and earth. Early in the morning, men feel very passionate physically and the sexual organ is erect and ready. When is a better time to love, early in the morning, or before when you first go to bed[?]

Sen. Graham, Rep. Ford, your thoughts?

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"John Gorenfeld: The first man on the Moon"
-- Ana Marie Cox ("Wonkette," Time.com Washington editor)

"Thanks to the superb reporting of John Gorenfeld on Salon.com and his indispensable Web page, Moon's shenanigans are routinely scrutinized. Maybe some of Gorenfeld's discernment will rub off on preachers and politicians."
-- Tony Norman, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette columnist

"The scene summoned the moment in Robert Graves's "I, Claudius" when Emperor Caligula declares himself a god in the Roman Senate; a fawning solon instantly offers a prayer."
-- New York Times editorial on the Crown of Peace scandal

"I am happy that our work is being challenged and improved in consistency, openness and coordination, by the accountability your spotlight demands. I am not talking about simply removing stuff from websites..."
-- Moon spokesman the Rev. Phil Schanker

"Instead of welcoming Reverend Moon, this government put me into prison. History will reveal the truth in the future and the American government and people will realize what an evil thing they did. What will they do then? They will bow down. Again, that is the way of natural subjugation." -- Moon in 1987

"A political movement basing its appeal on old fashioned patriotism and family values simply cannot justify an alliance with a cult that preys on the disintegration of the American family and advocates allegiance to an international social order operating with cell-like secrecy."
-- Rep. Jim Leach (R-IA)